How to work with negative feelings such as anger or resentment!
Have you ever wondered if it is possible to overcome or cope with these negative emotions?
Sometimes we can be our own prisoners, trapped with our negative feelings which seem unable to deal with at the time being.
Before I dive into this topic I want you to know that these feelings, declared as negative don’t always have to be negative. It is important to know that we are human beings and luckily we are able to feel emotions. What would we be without our emotions? We have the power to change them, to change their vibration into a positive on. It is our right to feel these kinds of feelings in order to know where we stand with certain people, especially the ones close to us. Sometimes these feelings can be eye-opening and truly help us see where our relationship with one another is headed.
Also when we talk about close or important relationships (people we spend a lot of time with), these negative feelings use to come up regularly they are not only happening once. In order to deal or cope with them, we have to understand that it is also important to feel into them.
How we work with negative feelings and learn to accept them is a whole other story and really important for our personal growth.
No one wants to be affected by anger or resentment for an eternity, because let’s be honest they destroy our good flow in life, our positive energy. You are responsible for your energy and by holding onto anger or resentment you just make it harder for yourself. You do no one good with that, you even hurt yourself the most by holding onto them for too long.
Do you have these negative feelings that seem to arise again and again? Are you at a point where you feel overwhelmed and lost because of them?
These feelings can arise when you feel like no one cares about your kindness or just uses it for their advantage, or when you have to deal with other people’s problems that you have absolutely no connection to. Or you have to take on the problems and solve them because another person seems unwilling to do so for multiple reasons. Also if you feel like someone hurts you or you have to treat someone differently because of whatever reasons.
The first thing that always comes to my mind is “Hey there, I have feelings too! What if I don’t like doing this or that?“ and I feel like no one actually cares. Naturally, these feelings like anger and resentment arise. I’m sure you have other reasons too and there are tons of occurrences that trigger them, but more importantly, it is how we cope with them in order to feel less affected and hurt.
My first aid kit on how to respond to anger or resentment:
- When you feel overwhelmed by the sudden rush of this particular feeling, take a deep breath (a really long and nurturing one). This helps you clear your mind a tiny bit to focus on your next step.
- Which is to acknowledge that you are so much more than your negative feelings.
- Accept that this feeling is only temporary, it will be gone sooner or later so why not speed this process up a little and free yourself earlier?
- How are you feeling now? A little clearer?
- The thing is that the person probably does not know about your feelings towards him or her and if so he or she has probably not approached you with an apology or a talk for solving this issue, because why would you feel these feelings now?
- Also, a really good process is to give yourself time to feel into these feelings, right now, wherever you are or whatever you do, because you cannot concentrate on your current task when overwhelmed with anger or resentment.
- Sit with this negative feeling, tear it apart: Why are you feeling this? Who triggered it and why? Can you let go of it or will it come back to bite you in the ass again?
- Dive deep into this feeling and why the person is the trigger or what does this person do to trigger it.
- It helps to make yourself immune to this feeling by accepting its very appearance, by accepting that these feelings are (like it or not) a big part of you, but it is up to you to not let them take over your life and your positivity.
- You should never block these negative feelings because they will come back even stronger and throw you off the bus, trust me.
You have the possibility to turn every negative feeling or thought into a positive one.
When negative thoughts rise up tell yourself the following: “I thank this person for doing this or that because now I can see clearly for what he or she is. I am no longer blinded by this person.” Be thankful that you are able to transform your thoughts into more positive ones.
Tore your negative thoughts apart? Then you are ready to release this negative vibe and free your mind. Try to go outside, take a few deep breaths think of something good that happened or is going to happen today. What are your plans for the day? You are now distracting your thoughts to gain a new and fresh look at your negative feelings.
The last step is to come up with a plan on how to approach the trigger for your feelings.
Can you share your negative feelings safely with the person who is triggering them? Maybe you want to tell him or her how what he or she did makes you feel. Whether or not it ends in a fight, the person now has the opportunity to sit with it and think about how he or she makes other people feel. I know it’s not always that easy. If the situation you are in is repeating itself over and over again and you are unable to solve it that way you might have to consider to accept that this is no longer for you. That this relationship is no longer meant for you, maybe you need to take a break. Not all relationships are meant to last forever, sometimes we need to accept this hard truth.
You should always keep in mind that there is an opportunity to free yourself from things or persons or jobs that no longer serve you, that drag you down and make you feel low. You are not here to live to be punished and dragged down, are you? It is up to you to step into your own power of releasing bad energies and with them the things that no longer do you good.
I hope this post was a little bit of help for you and maybe you look at your prison of negative feelings a little different now. Keep your head up and try to smile, even if you don’t feel like it (it actually helps) 🙂
Remember to always show compassion for one another and treat people how you like to be treated yourself.
Be kind to yourself, because you deserve it.
Much love, Natascha
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